Anything with Cheese

Garde Manger

2006-11-17T11:02:00.000-06:00

I started a new class on Monday called Garde Manger. The term literally means “keeping to eat” and dates back hundred of years when curing, preserving and storing food was a necessity for survival. Nobility and the Church would have Garde Manger kitchens where a steward would preserve and distribute food as needed. In modern times, the Garde Manger kitchen is not only responsible for cured meats, but also salads, cold soups and sauces, hors’dourves, pates and terrines.

The lab we are working in this six weeks is quite interesting. It’s the newest and most expensive lab on campus, yet it lacks some basic necessities. For starters, there isn’t a single garbage disposal in the lab. This means that you either spend hours scraping your dishes into the trash or cleaning the sink drain of accumulated food scraps. There’s also a lack of cooking and serving equipment which tends to be a problem when you are making food!

Because the lab is so nice a new, the end of the night cleaning procedures are more brutal (and time consuming) than we are used to. Normally we sweep and mop the floors. In this class, we sweep, scrub, squeegee, hose and mop the floors. Then, instead of just wiping down our prep tables with sanitizer, we douse them in hot soapy water and squeegee them. With a 40 thousand dollar tuition price tag, can’t the school afford to pay someone to clean?!?! I’d rather spend the time learning something valuable. When I was in college, the professors never had the class sweep and mop the classroom at the end of a lecture. Sheesh.

Fortunately, I am learning some new vocabulary in this class. Chef Instructor likes to use the words pepperika, dolly and gazpachio. I’m sure that what he really means is paprika, doily and gazpacho. But shit, I’m just a student. What do I know?

Thanksgiving Menu

2006-11-16T10:44:00.000-06:00

I have volunteered to make Thanksgiving dinner for my family this year. Given that I'm almost done with culinary school, I'm feeling the pressure to impress. Here's the menu as it stands now:

Thanksgiving Day Menu
November 23, 2006

First Course
Apple and Goat Cheese Salad
-or-
Grilled Pineapple Salad

Entree
Turkey Roulade with Apple Cranberry Chutney
Potatoes Noisette
Carrots Vichy
-or-
Poached Salmon with Citrus Salsa
Potatoes Gratin
Sautéed Spinach with toasted pine nuts

Dessert
Poached Pears with Vanilla Bean Ice Cream
Crème Brule with Fresh Berries

Recap

2006-11-16T10:42:00.001-06:00

It appears that I have been MIA for quite some time, so I’ll give everyone a quick recap of the last six weeks:

-I am officially done with another class – baking.
-During baking, I learned to make all sorts of stuff – breads, cakes, pies, cookies, tarts, sculpted sugar and so much more.
-I burned the skin off of the tips of my fingers while learning to temper chocolate
-I blistered my hand by accidentally picking up a molten candy thermometer
-I made a box out of chocolate and it looked so freakin’ cool. I still can’t believe I actually made a box out of chocolate.
-I decided that I really like the slow pace of baking. At the same time, I realized that my unsteady hand would make me the worst cake decorator ever!

To wrap up the class, our practical final was to make a St. Honore Gateau cake. Check this out – it’s made of puff pastry, cream puffs, pastry cream, chocolate whipped cream, caramelized sugar, spun sugar and tempered chocolate. And to think that on the first day of class I could barely make Blueberry Muffins!

The Most Badass Spatula Ever

2006-10-10T22:59:00.000-05:00

I saw this at Crate and Barrel the other day and just had to have it.

Baking a Cake

2006-10-08T18:51:00.000-05:00

My department at work is hosting a cake contest tomorrow. Any cake is fair game, as long as it is made completely from scratch. Scoring is based on presentation and taste. Since I'm in culinary school, I have a feeling that some people are expecting big things from me. What no one knows is - I'm not a baker. In fact, I'm only 1 week into my baking class at school and so far, all we've made is bread. So, in reality, I'm on the same level as all the other novice cooks at work.

I searched quite a few recipes before I settled on this one:

Thanks to Marcus Samuelsson's cookbook, Aquavit, I will be entering the contest with Soft Ginger Cake with Mascarpone Mousse.

Dookie Dough

2006-10-03T23:08:00.000-05:00

Tonight we made three types of bread:

Pan Au Lait
Pullman Bread
French Baguettes

The Pan Au Lait dough is rolled out into ropes and then twisted into one of three shapes – knot, figure eight or “s” shape.

After some practice, my partner and I managed to perfect the knot shape. The result resembled a pile of doggie doo. As a garnish, we topped them with black sesame seeds.

The bread quickly earned the nickname of “Turd Piles with Flies.”

Poor Idiots

2006-10-03T14:57:00.001-05:00

Last night kicked off a new class. I’m in the baking lab now and will spend the next six weeks churning out breads, cakes, pastries and all sorts of other figure un-friendly foods.

Besides the usual first day class stuff, our first assignment was to make hard rolls. It was my first time using a Kitchen Aid mixer and my first time making bread. My partner and I royally screwed up our first batch of dough by horrendously over-mixing it. Our second batch turned out much better. They looked so professional when we were done and Chef Instructor had honey butter standing by for tasting – yum!!!

I don’t know why I am continuously appalled by the behavior of some of my fellow classmates. “Idiot” is the only word that justly encompasses their immaturity, lack of respect and non-stop shenanigans.

Some of last night’s antics included:

-The glutton telling new Chef Instructor that he’s allergic to strawberries. Since we’ve been in class with him for 8 months, we are well aware of his strawberry allergy. He tells every new instructor about it, freaks out when a strawberry is within 10 feet and otherwise acts like it’s his claim to fame. Needless to say, his routine is tired – to all of us. So to be a smart ass, I decided to ask him “Hey Glutton, are you allergic to strawberries?” Oh boy. Not only did the class erupt in laughter, but he proceeded to tell me all about his strawberry allergy as if this was the first time I was hearing about it.

-Tall stick figure with no brain decided that instead of making hard rolls he’d make hot chocolate. So, he dirties up an ass load of dishes and puts them in the sink for me to clean so that he could leave the classroom to flirt with another student.

-New guy acts like he knows everything and constantly interrupts Chef Instructor to impart his knowledge. He didn’t make any friends last night. No one wanted to be know-it-all’s partner.

Poor idiots.

Shrimp Fried Rice

2006-09-29T11:05:00.000-05:00

Last night I whipped up a batch of my world-famous Shrimp Fried Rice. Ok, so it’s not really world-famous, but it’s damn good.

It’s a great vegetarian dish and you can substitute beef or chicken if you happen to be a carnivore.

Here’s out I put this meal together:

1. Cook some white rice.
2. Heat up some canola in a sauté pan or wok over medium high heat. Scramble up and cook an egg or two and remove from pan.
3. Toss in some diced yellow onions and cook until translucent.
4. Add shrimp. I use pre-cooked frozen shrimp.
5. Add rice and heat through.
6. Toss in any your favorite veggies. I use shredded iceberg lettuce, bean sprouts and frozen peas. Heat through.
7. Drench the rice with soy sauce – enough to give it the nice brown color and some salty flavor.
8. Add egg back to pan.
9. Garnish with chopped green onions and a drizzle of sesame oil.

Wine, Wine and More Wine

2006-09-27T22:46:00.001-05:00

One of the classes that I will be finishing up in approximately two days is Wine. We’ve spent the better part of the last six weeks learning how wine is made, what wine goes with what food and what characteristics we should expect in various types of wine. The majority of the class consisted of classroom lecture. However, four days of the days were tasting days!

Tasting Day 1 – White Wine
Tasting Day 2 – Red Wine
Tasting Day 3 – Sparkling Wine
Tasting Day 4 – Dessert Wine

The kids under 21 are only allowed to taste the wine if they brought along a parent chaperone. Since the rest of the over age students (me included) were left without a wine tasting companion, our teacher graciously allowed us to invite a guest.

I braved white wine and sparkling wine days by myself. Each day we tasted an ounce of six different wines. Funny enough, my friend that sits to the left of me hated the sparkling wine, so I got a little extra on that day!

Regardless, I took my dad to red wine tasting day. He’s not a drinker, but has recently pursued the red wine market. He learned a lot, enjoyed the wine and probably had the most fun observing the wild frat-like antics of the students that make up my class.

My mom accompanied me on dessert wine night. She’s not a drinker either, and I’m pretty sure that my dad teased her to “not to get sloshed” in class.

My shining moment came when my mom introduced herself to Teacher. Teacher said, “Oh, you’re her mother. You’ve done such a good job with her.”

Gush, gush, gush. It’s never too late to make your parents proud.

Dinner with a Friend

2006-09-21T22:56:00.000-05:00

I had a friend over for dinner tonight and decided to prepare some recipes I learned in my last lab class. The result was Poached Salmon in Court Bouillon, Orange Salsa and Cous Cous with Toasted Pine Nuts.

The makings of Orange Salsa:

The finished result:

Court Bullion – this poaching liquid consists of mirepoix (celery, onion and carrot), half a lemon, parsley stems, crushed peppercorns, cloves, bay leaf, and thyme:

Put it all together and you get dinner:

Boobs on a Bun?

2006-09-21T10:28:00.000-05:00

I was searching the web for a cheese photo that I could incorporate into my profile and stumbled upon this:

What’s your caption?

$452.91

2006-09-20T21:54:00.000-05:00

Yep, that’s the amount I just racked up on my credit card in the name of education. I just purchased sixteen of the “must have” books for chef wannabes:

Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly
The Soul of a Chef: The Journey Toward Perfection
The Oxford Companion to Food
Aquavit: And the New Scandinavian Cuisine
Essentials of Cooking
The Elements of Taste
Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Volume One
Sauces: Classical and Contemporary Sauce Making
Cooking by Hand
Larousse Gastronomique
On Food and Cooking: The Science and Lore of the Kitchen
The New Making of a Cook: The Art, Techniques, And Science Of Good Cooking
Bouchon
Escoffier: The Complete Guide to the Art of Modern Cookery
Cookwise: The Secrets of Cooking Revealed
The French Laundry Cookbook

They should be arriving in 5-7 business days, at which time I will quit blogging and begin reading. Or, start blogging about reading. Or, maybe I’ll just post pretty pictures of the books. Or the things I cook from the books. Oh, the possibilities are endless.

Right Around the Corner

2006-09-18T23:14:00.000-05:00

It’s hard to believe that I’ve already been in culinary school for 7 months, and after next week, I will only have 3 classes to go!

Coming up I have six weeks in a Baking and Pastry class, followed by six weeks in Garde Manger and then my final six weeks in the on-campus fine dining restaurant.

Once those classes are wrapped up, I venture out into the real world. I will have three months to complete a 270 hour externship of my choosing. As long as I am gainfully employed in a kitchen I can do and go just about anywhere. Catering, cooking, fine dining, personal chef. France, Italy, Spain, Cruise Ship, Las Vegas, New York.

Anything. Anywhere.

Are you hiring?

Stubbs Sandwich

2006-09-17T21:28:00.000-05:00

Has anyone ever had one of these?

100 Things About Me: 81 - 100

2006-09-14T17:11:00.000-05:00

81. I own a hundred pairs of shoes, but mostly I wear the same pair of black flip flops, day after day, after day.
82. I love cold weather. If Austin wasn't the most awesome city in the world, I would have moved to Antarctica by now.
83. I rarely eat ice cream, but when I do, I do it up right with all the fixin's.
84. I have subscriptions to 4 food magazines and I usually read them cover to cover twice.
85. I have a few grey hairs, and I'm not afraid to pull them out or cover them up with hair dye.
86. I'm addicted to chapstick. I have a tube beside my bed, on the coffee table, in my purse, in my car, in my desk drawer, and the list goes on.
87. I also love gum. I almost always have a piece of it in my mouth.
88. I have a tiny family. My dad is an only child and my mom has one brother. I only have 4 cousins. Gossip travels fast!
89. My grandfather emigrated from Holland, so I have some second generation European roots.
90. I am directionally challenged. I get lost easily and people constantly tell me to get in my map.
91. I think I snore.
92. I'm scared of the dark so I always sleep with a night light.
93. I always have to sleep on the side of the bed farthest away from the door. You know, in case burglars or rapists come in during the night.
94. I laugh easily.
95. I can touch the insides of my elbows together. Apparently that means I'm double jointed.
96. I was forced to watch Rent on Broadway and then fell in love with everything about it.
97. I like to karaoke, but I generally make an ass of myself while singing.
98. I like to bet on horse races.
99. I recently had a Big Mac for the first time in my life.
100. I'm finally done with this list!

Castle Hill Café

2006-09-13T14:50:00.000-05:00

I’ve lived in Austin for so many years and I’ve passed by this restaurant a million times on my way to 6th Street. I even went to the door once with a dinner date, looked at the menu and decided that it was too expensive for my budget at the time.

I finally got around to checking this place out last month and loved it so much I’ve already been back three times. I am absolutely addicted to the Hacked Chicken Salad. It is quite possibly the prettiest food I have ever eaten and tastes phenomenal. There are so many elements to this salad: field greens, cabbage, corn relish, sweet walnuts, grilled chicken and an amazing, creamy sesame-ginger dressing. And for an extra bonus, the plate is garnished with cream cheese dumplings and sweet corn mini-muffins.

The only hitch in my most recent visit was an overcooked steak ordered by my dining companion. Rather than complain, my friend J simply stated, “I guess this is their version of medium.” I had to laugh. Having just finished a six week class on meat cookery, I am well versed on what a medium steak should actually look like – and his wasn’t it. Thankfully, J seemed to enjoy his meal nonetheless.

In addition to eating, I wanted to capture the Hacked salad on film. Having recently discovered some new settings on my camera I spent the first few minutes after our meal arrived snapping some shots. I'm sure the people around us thought I was crazy, or maybe they thought I was an ultra-cool restaurant reviewer. Nah!

Weekend Photos

2006-09-12T10:37:00.000-05:00

Pimpin' It Longhorn Style!

Amazing Seats at the Biggest Game of the Year

Me and My Sister

Blimp Over the Stadium

Biggest Jumbotron in the World

Puppy Love

2006-09-06T00:31:00.000-05:00

There are 3 things in this world that I hate more than anything:

1) Going to the video store (which I've recently rectified with a ridiculous Netflix obsession)
2) Grocery Shopping (they should deliver!)
3) Vacuuming

Growing up, I can't remember a time where my family didn't have a dog. We've had Zonker, Mollie, Harvey, Sadie, Belle and now, Maggie. All had their particular favorites - popcorn, grapes, cheese, ice cream and apples, among others. While they had their preference in people food, they weren't too discriminating when it came to cleaning the floor. If someone was in the kitchen, the dog was too. Sniffing, snacking and loving every bit of every scrap that found its way to the floor.

My friend T stopped by the other night with her friendly Labrador. I was thrilled, not only to see T, but because I hoped her gentle giant would "vacuum" the mess that had become my kitchen floor. Turns out the Labrador was more interested in my balcony than my gourmet doggie treats.

Tonight I whipped up another batch of pasta yuminess. Unfortunately I slopped a bunch of herbs, chicken and carmelized onions on the floor. As I finished the dish and waded through the sloppy mess on the floor, I couldn't help but think of our dogs, always at our feet, eager to sample our food, never discriminating, always appreciative and forever loved.

Pasta Yumminess

2006-09-05T11:30:00.000-05:00

My friend J and I frequently visit Macaroni Grill for lunch. They have an amazing pasta dish called Carmela’s Chicken Rigatoni and we both order it every time. The dish has grilled chicken, mushrooms and caramelized onions tossed in a creamy marsala wine sauce finished with fresh basil. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

I have been wanting to recreate this recipe for awhile now. After a quick trip to Whole Foods, tossing some ingredients together and several tastings, I think I have it figured out.

Creamy Marsala Wine Sauce with Grilled Chicken and Rigatoni
serves 2

6 tablespoons butter (divided)
½ onion, thinly sliced
1 cup sliced mushrooms
½ cup Marsala wine
1 cup cream
Fresh thyme, chopped
½ cup parmesan cheese
Fresh basil, chiffonade
1 grilled chicken breast
2 cups cooked rigatoni pasta
Salt and Pepper, to taste

1. In a small sauce pan, melt 3 tablespoons butter and add onions. Cook over low heat until onions have developed a light brown color.
2. In a sauté pan, melt remaining butter and add sliced mushrooms. Cook over medium heat until mushrooms are tender.
3. Add marsala wine and reduce by half.
4. Add cream and thyme and let simmer until sauce slightly thickens.
5. Stir in parmesan cheese, caramelized onions, basil and grilled chicken.
6. Season with salt and pepper.
7. Pour sauce over pasta.

As Rachael Ray would say – YUMMO!

Panini du Fat

2006-09-05T10:25:00.000-05:00

I’ve compiled a list of Austin restaurants that I’m trying to hit over the next few months. My mom is always open to trying new places, so I drug her along to Asti last week. I’ve been wanting to try this restaurant for awhile now, especially since fellow schoolmates and graduates work in the kitchen.

Asti was much smaller than I anticipated, but was nicely decorated, with an open kitchen and a menu primarily consisting of French fare. The waiter arrived to take our drink order while we pondered the menu. After much debate, because everything sounded delish, we decided on two different entrees so that we could share and compare. My mom opted for the Penne with Grilled Chicken and Spinach and I went for the Prime Rib Panini.

Our food arrived swiftly and looked great! My mom sunk her teeth into a bite of the creamy pasta and immediately said, “Mmmmm!” On the other hand, I bit through the crunchy bread of the Panini and got a mouth full of fat. I opened the sandwich and was shocked to see that each bite size piece of meat that covered the bread was nothing but fat. The sandwich was completely inedible, so I munched on the bread and accompanying veggies.

Normally I would have brought this to the attention of the waiter so that the manager and kitchen would be aware of the problem, and could correct it if they so desired. That was problem number two. The waiter came to our table twice – once to take our order and once to drop off, I mean throw, the check. He was either having a BAD day or should find a new job that better utilizes his people skills.

Despite the yummy pasta, the service and Panini incident was enough to deter us from ever visiting this restaurant again!

Vacation Over

2006-08-30T11:51:00.000-05:00

I’m back from a mini blogging vacation wherein I:

-Managed to eek out an A in my second of four lab classes
-Slept. A lot. Probably too much.
-Watched an obscene amount of movies thanks to my new Netflix subscription.
-Made 14 batches of pancakes. Each of them different, but equally delicious.

I have moved on to two new and rather interesting classes:

Cost Control – which teaches you how to manage food, beverage and labor costs in your business, but somehow seems to steer itself into more entertaining conversations about how to catch a thieving bartender with stamps and black lights.

Wine – which teaches the science of enology and also includes weekly wine tastings where we will be required to describe the organoleptic qualities of wine using words such as burnt tar, cat urine and wet dog.

Exam Fun

2006-08-16T00:51:00.000-05:00

This week is my last week of meat cookery. Hoo-ray! It has been a loooong six weeks.

Monday night was our written final. We all arrived at 5:30 pm for class and Chef Instructor graciously gave us an hour long review. Then he dismissed us until 9 for a dinner/study break. Score! Extra study time for me, the nerd, is always appreciated. As we are filing out of the classroom he says:

“Now don’t do anything stupid like go home and get high or drunk. I don’t want anyone standing out in the parking lot taking a few puffs and then coming in to take the test. I’ve seen too many people fail the exam by doing stupid shit like that.”

Man, does he know our class, or does he know our class?!?!

I don’t know how many people actually showed up high or drunk for the exam because I was too busy checking and rechecking all of my answers. Nerd alert!

Tonight was our practical exam. We were each assigned two different proteins and two different vegetables. We could prepare them anyway we like and serve them with any starch we desired. I was assigned pork loin, shrimp, spinach and eggplant. With these, I came up with the following dishes:

Roasted Pork Loin stuffed with cherries, finished with a white wine veal stock reduction and garnished with candied cherries and pecans
Fried Eggplant Coins
Potatoes Noisette

And

Broiled Shrimp with Lemon Butter Sauce
Sauteed Spinach
Potatoes Anna

I was proud of both dishes. I used molds to make fancy shapes and added spiffy garnishes. My pork was horribly overdone, despite my taking it out of the oven at the proper temperature. That resulted in a 65. However, I sorta redeemed myself with a perfect score on my Potatoes Anna, which Chef Instructor called “sexy.”

Overall, I ended the night with an 87 average on my practical exam. It isn’t an A. I guess I’ll have to deal.

Lobster Trauma

2006-08-09T12:15:00.000-05:00

I’ve spent the good majority of the last 5 days trying to get Friday night’s class out of my mind.

Up until this point, we’ve had to cut up a lot of animals – chicken, beef, pork, quail, rabbit and fish – just to name a few. I normally wear gloves to protect me from the slime, but other than that, I am un-phased.

You see, everything we’ve worked with until this point has been dead. Friday night changed all that. I arrive at class to the eerie sound of something live scraping on the sides of a Styrofoam cooler. Upon peering in, I see a mound of lobsters, slowly moving to escape contact with their fellow detainees.

When it comes time to cook them, Chef Instructor offers us two options – boiling or chopping. Of course, he demo’s both. He flippantly grabs a lobster with a pair of tongs and drops it into a pot of boiling water. I look away and plug up my ears to avoid hearing its scream.

Time for the second option. Chef Instructor sticks his tongs into the cooler and pulls out another lobster and places it on his cutting board. He picks up a 10 inch chef’s knife and plunges the tip into the head of the lobster and splits it right down the middle. 2 lobster halves lie on the board, both still twitching.

I couldn’t believe it. I’d read about it, but I didn’t realize how it would affect me upon seeing it.

I couldn’t do either method. I had to rely heavily on my partner to deal with our lobster slaughter.

Since Friday, I’ve been questioning my ability to be a chef. I can’t kill a lobster. What am I going to do – stand in the kitchen at my first job and refuse to cook it? Maybe. But then they will probably just show me to the door.

Please Come Back

2006-08-08T01:29:00.000-05:00

While I thought Chef Instructor Hot was going to be THE Chef Instructor for my current class, it turns out he was just a substitute while Real Chef Instructor was off getting married in Zihuatanejo.

Chef Instructor Hot ran the class quite nicely. He focused on technique, not recipe. We could damn well make any sauce, use any herbs or spices and concoct some wicked flavor combinations as long as we followed the proper technique.

We could present our dishes for grading at anytime, as long as we met the specified deadline. Nice. Relaxed. Calm. Learning.

After two weeks, Real Chef Instructor returns. It’s back to the original grind. Assigned times for grading, and if you’re 1 minute early or 1 minute late, minus five points for the entire day. Ouch.

Real Chef Instructor spends almost 2 hours demo’ing the dishes we are to prepare. Once we know what we are supposed to do, he turns us loose and posts our deadlines. My partner and I are Team 2. We have 1 hour to prepare our dishes:

Coconut Basil Shrimp with Coconut Infused Rice
Frog Legs and Crab Cakes with Remoulade
Calamari Frito with Saffron Aioli

We are 2 minutes late. We get a stern scolding. “Ladies, what took you so long?”

Um, Chef? It took you TWO hours to do all this and you’re a pro. You want me to cook this shit in 1 hour? Um, okay. Minus 5 points.

I want Chef Instructor Hot back.

Food and VD

2006-08-04T13:56:00.000-05:00

The scene: A plate of lunch on my lap as I sit on the couch watching Giada do her thing on the Food Network.

The interruption: A lengthy commercial for herpes medication, complete with instructions on safe sex and prevention tips.

The problem: The fact that some marketing guru thought that the Food Network would be an appropriate forum for this type of advertising.

I'm eating and I'm watching a show about eating and none of this has anything to do with VD!

Mmmm...Bird

2006-08-01T23:59:00.000-05:00

Recipe: Force Me to Eat

In a food processor, puree chopped chicken thigh meat, garlic, shallot, cream and egg white. Hit the off button when the mixture resembles melted pink ice cream.

Spread out some caul fat on a cutting board. Caul fat is stomach lining that, when spread out, looks like a white, crocheted doily.

Take a whole chicken, completely remove the carcass and all flesh. What remains is the skin, fully intact, roughly resembling the shape of a bird. Scrape off all excess fat.

Pound out a chicken breast until you can almost see through it. Stay with me here. We are almost done.

Layer, in this order, chicken skin, pounded chicken and pink ice cream. Roll it up all nicely and then wrap it in caul fat.

Sear in a hot pan and finish in oven.

The main component, Forcemeat. The technique, Galantine. The finished product, Chicken Doria.

Shame On Me

2006-08-01T11:10:00.000-05:00

I didn’t feel like going to school last night, so I didn’t go. I know, I know, how irresponsible. And believe me; I did feel a twang of guilt. Enough guilt in fact that I decided to, at the very least, cook dinner.

Roasted Rack of Lamb Persille – which is just a fancy way of saying lamb chop coated with breading that contains lots ‘o parsley.
Parmesan Risotto
Greens with Sesame Oil Vinaigrette

Frito Pie

2006-07-29T23:07:00.000-05:00

From a friend. The proper instructions for assembling the perfect Frito pie:

First you get a bowl and put just a little bit of chili on the bottom.
Then you put a layer of Fritos.
Then you put a layer of cheese.
Then add some more chili.
Then top that with more Fritos.
Then put another layer of cheese.

“That way you get delicious melted cheese in every bite.”

Now how could I argue with that?

Got Any Extra Change Lying Around?

2006-07-27T00:24:00.000-05:00

If so, the Boca Raton Resort & Club has THE burger for you. With a 5 ½ inch circumference at 2 ½ inches thick, you will be biting in to a tri-beef patty that consists of American Prime, Kobe and Argentinean beef. Forget the normal burger toppings – this sucker is topped with organic greens and exotic mushrooms.

Is your mouth watering yet? Mine was. Until I saw the price tag. With tax and gratuity, this beef on a bun will set you back $124.50. But wait! The luxury resort will graciously donate $10 from each sale to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

While I’m sure the Boca Raton burger is fabulous, I’d rather get a ninety-nine cent bacon cheeseburger from Wendy’s, and donate the remaining $123.51 to charity.

can i make a cheese sauce with sliced american cheese?

2006-07-26T12:43:00.000-05:00

Someone landed on my blog with this question in their google search bar. Could you make cheese sauce with sliced American cheese? Maybe. Would you want to? Not in a million years.

Stop searching for an American cheese sauce recipe and instead, get your ass to the store and by some real cheese. The kind that isn’t individually wrapped in preformed, pressed squares. The kind that tastes real. The kind that melts.

Oh my. I don’t have enough time or energy to even explain how my love for cheese was just insulted by this question.

4 Stars for Blue Star

2006-07-24T15:18:00.000-05:00

Today I joined the fam for lunch at a relatively new Austin eatery, Blue Star Cafeteria. The décor is very inviting – retro chic, with an assortment of tables, booths and bar dining with a great view of the kitchen. There were fresh flowers on every table and the servers were courteous and prompt.

The food was relatively unique and well presented. We started off with Crispy Artichoke Hearts with an anchovy dipping sauce. Crunchy, delicious and nothing fishy about any of it. The entrees followed. The mom opted for Coconut and Cornflake Chicken Tenderloins and the dad and I opted for the Meatloaf Sandwich.

If you’re having flashbacks to your childhood, last one at the dinner table, looking at a cold piece of tomato sauce covered meatloaf, stuck there until you figure out a way to get it down or feed it to the dog – you can stop right there.

This meatloaf was nothing like that. It came on grilled sourdough and was topped with provolone cheese, garlic mayo and grilled onions. The meat was juicy, flavorful and anything but the kind that you dreaded as a child.

There was no time for dessert, despite the tempting carrot cake that was calling my name from the display case.

Next time. Oh yes, there will be a next time.

Not Bad for a Saturday Night

2006-07-24T14:47:00.000-05:00

Chicken Flautas with Tomatillo Salsa, Mexican Cream and Queso Fresco

Toasted Pound Cake with Warm Berry Sauce

Hooray!

2006-07-21T00:13:00.000-05:00

Margie over at Do You Have Issues? was kind enough to recognize my blog with a Foodie-Blog Award. Check out my review!

Woo hoo! Yeay me!

Sweetbread Prep

2006-07-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

Classmate: Why is it called sweetbread?
Chef Instructor: Because it’s really hard to sell thymus on a menu.

Yep, you read right. Wednesday night we will be cooking up cow thymus. Tonight we prepped the gland for cooking tomorrow. While my partner was busy doing dishes, I was busy holding down the throw up.

I pulled the thymus out of the blood soaked plastic bag with a pair of tongs and gloved hands. Blood. Everywhere. It resembles brain matter. Pockets of flesh loosely cling to each other to form one big gloppy mess (yes, it’s a technical culinary term). I drop the gland into a pot of boiling, salted lemon water until it is light poached and just starts to turn a shade of white.

Upon removing the thymus from the water, I spent several minutes pulling the sinew (filmy layer of skin) off of the flesh. All the while, holding down the – oh wait – it’s coming up. Stand over the trash can for a minute.

Resume sinew removal.

Once sinew is removed, I wrapped the thymus all up in a piece of cheesecloth and molded it into the shape of salami. Now get ready for the big finish….

I wrung out all of the excess “juice” to create a solid mass of gland. I tied up both ends of the cheese cloth and hung it in the refrigerator to do its thing overnight.

Now, can anyone tell me what’s sweet about that?

Margaritas and Mole

2006-07-16T23:31:00.000-05:00

Saturday night I headed to Manuels downtown. I absolutely love Mexican food and EVERYONE tells me the food there is great, so I had to find out for myself.

There was a 45 minute wait, so we planted ourselves at the bar to sample “Austin’s Best Margaritas.” I order a frozen one with salt. It arrived frozen, but sans salt. Ok, I’m not going to hold anything against them yet. I mean, it’s a great atmosphere, nice hardwood floors, great lighting and the governor seated just down the way.

A couple of cocktails later, our table is finally ready. The hostess leads us to a tiny table wedged between toddlers and raging drunks. Um, no thanks. Can we get a different table please? Sure. Another 20 minute wait.

Finally we are seated in an adult friendly location and dive right into the menu. We order Chile con Queso as the appetizer. I couldn’t wait to dunk my chips into some creamy, melted cheese. The starter arrived, and much to my surprise it was more like Queso Flameado than anything resembling melted cheese. Not to worry though - cheese is cheese and I devoured every delicious bite.

Entrees soon followed. I had Enchiladas de Mole which Wine Spectator touts as the “Best Mole in Austin”. I’ve had lots of mole in my day – both homemade and restaurant made. I was really disappointed. They garnished the dish with sesame seeds which completely overpowered the other delicate flavors of the sauce.

The waiter stopped by our table twice – once to take our order and once to drop off the bill. His tip reflected the caliber of service accordingly.

I’m sure there is market for this type of restaurant in Austin. But I like to keep it real. Give me a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant where the people barely speak English, the salsa is spicy and the cheese drips off my chips, and I’ll be a happy, happy chica.

100 Things About Me: 61-80

2006-07-15T17:16:00.000-05:00

61. You can never use too much garlic. I put it in almost everything, except brownies.
62. In school, most people think I’m a nerd. I’m never afraid to lobby for a better grade.
63. I am addicted to DVR. It is the best invention ever.
64. I have an anti-green thumb. I can’t keep a plant alive to save my life.
65. In elementary school, I wore Jams and leggings and hair bows. Oh my.
66. When I was younger, I used to make crafts for all of my Christmas gifts. I wish I still had the time to do that.
67. One of my favorite songs is “I Love Rock ‘n Roll” by Joan Jett. I used to have it on a 45. Every time it comes on the radio, I’m instantly in a good mood.
68. I dig power tools. Especially my electric screwdriver.
69. I dig other power tools too. But mostly, this is a G-rated blog.
70. I know how to fold napkins into fancy shapes, like swans. My grandmother gave me a napkin folding book when I was young, and I actually used it.
71. Whenever I watch scary movies, I close my eyes and plug my ears during the jump-out-and-scare-you parts.
72. I used to be a HUGE Tom Cruise fan. After his Oprah couch jumping incident, he has been erased from existence.
73. I can’t stand Gatorade. It burns the back of my throat.
74. I love to eat whipped cream – straight out of the can.
75. I like fancy restaurants with froufrou food.
76. I’ve only been in a limo twice. Once for my best friend’s 16th birthday and then again on my wedding night.
77. I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue – quickly.
78. I love to eat raw cookie dough.
79. I hate to vacuum.
80. I’ve visited cities in 13 US states.

Eating Good, Damn Good

2006-07-14T00:59:00.000-05:00

Hanger Steak with Roasted Shallot Sauce and Pomme Frites
London Broil with Mushroom Sauce and Stuffed, Broiled Tomato*
Pepper Steak with Green Peppercorn Sauce, Broccoli Raab and Potatoes Daphinoise
NY Strip with Béarnaise Sauce, Watercress Salad and Sautéed Squash with Sundried Tomatoes and Basil
Veal Chop, Potato Gnocchi and Sautéed Wild Mushrooms

Is your mouth watering yet? Or are you still trying to figure out what the fuck any of this stuff is?

In either case, these were the 5 dishes that we prepared in class over the last 2 days.

*I hate tomatoes and even tough I got a near perfect score on this dish, it was purely luck. If I had to taste the crap before serving it, I surely would have hurled.

Alcohol and Machinery

2006-07-12T01:20:00.000-05:00

While making my nightly Vodka and Diet Coke, I happened upon the alcohol warning label. I’ve inadvertently read this thing a million times, but tonight a thought occurred to me.

Warning Reads:

“Alcohol may impair your ability to drive a car or operate heavy machinery.”

I got to thinking - what exactly classifies heavy machinery? Some research turned up a few examples: tractor, forklift, bulldozer.

For grins, I looked into light machinery too. Examples include – lawn mower, leaf blower, electric hedge trimmer.

Now shouldn’t we be warning people about light machinery too? I mean, would you want a crazy drunk running around your next family picnic with a weed wacker?

Aqua “What’s So Great?” Relle

2006-07-09T23:50:00.000-05:00

Last night my family gathered at Aquarelle to celebrate my sister R’s 20th birthday.

Finally! We are both 20 somethings – mind you only for a short, short while since I’m regretfully counting the days until age 30. Nevertheless, I am happy that I no longer have to say I have a teenage sister, and I think she’s equally as happy that she’s only 1 year away from legal drinking.

Everyone in Austin thinks Aquarelle is the rage. Apparently people give their first born to either work there or get a prime time reservation. Given my affinity for food and R’s new passion for vegetarian food, it seemed like a stellar restaurant pick.

Let me break it down for you:

Parking – Park across the street, catty corner to blah and blah, or risk towing.
Walk from Parking – Parking is far enough away that you break a sweat trucking to the restaurant, only to find out that you are in the wrong lot. Go re-park. Sweat again hustling to the restaurant.
No AC – The restaurant is in an old house. Apparently old houses can’t be renovated with modern central air. Sweat another 2 gallons while waiting for the menus. Drench pants so that when you stand, part of them actually stick to the chair.
French Service – Waiters are rude, pretentious, and SLOW.
Food – Salmon, ordered medium, arrives burned and tough. Overall, everything else is mediocre – at best.
Bill – After two and a half hours of sweating, rude service and a roach sighting, we are ready to leave. Credit card machine breaks. Another 20 minute delay.
June bugs – Retreating from the restaurant through the un-groomed foliage, R’s man has a june bug encounter – under his shirt, down his back.

Ok, so the june bugs weren’t Aquarelle’s fault, but everything else might have been. On a scale of 1 to 10, my sister and I give it a combined 5. Please don’t send me hate mail if you love this restaurant. Because I might have to tell you about the rat sighting too.

Evaluation Humor

2006-07-02T10:59:00.000-05:00

I had to laugh the other day as I was filling out class evaluations. This is an actual question from the eval:

The instructor maintained control over the class.

Strongly Agree
Agree
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
No Comment

Shouldn’t we be focusing on things like learning objectives were met, instructor was available during office hours and tests were graded fairly and accurately?

To me, this question speaks volumes to the caliber of students and the problems that plague administers. Sad, sad, sad.

I Hope Drool Doesn't Stain

2006-06-30T10:06:00.000-05:00

The past 6 weeks of class have been relatively painless. All book work and only 2 hours per night. On July 10th, I start my next lab class. 6 weeks, 5 hours a night, in the kitchen, meat cookery. Up until this point, I’ve been seriously stressing about who the Chef Instructors would be, and hoping beyond hope that it wouldn’t be the same jackasses that taught my last lab class.

I arrive at Nutrition class last night and realize we have a substitute for the night. Disappointment sets in. We have a final today and I was really hoping the teacher that writes the final would be there to go over the material. And then, the substitute turns around to face the class. He is tall. He is smiling. He has dark brown wavy hair. He is built. He is HOT. I lose track of the fact that regular Chef Instructor is absent today, and get used to the idea of spending the next 2 hours with some seriously beautiful eye candy.

He kicks off the class by introducing himself, giving us a little background on his culinary experience and then letting us know that not only will he be our Chef Instructor for the evening, but that he will also be our Chef Instructor for our upcoming lab class.

Party over here. Party over there. Shake your derriere. No jackasses. Just 6 weeks of Chef Instructor Hot. This. Is. Going. To. Be. Fabulous.

Corn Cob Protocol

2006-06-27T23:54:00.000-05:00

So now that corn on the cob is in season, I need some help with the proper buying technique. Until about 2 months ago, the only corn I ever purchased came in a can with a lot of murky juice. Being that I'm in culinary school and all, I'm venturing out into the fresh vegetable arena.

At the grocery, I'm noticing that a trash can is located within 2 feet of the fresh corn. People hover over it and feverishly shuck their corn. I check the price. Maybe it's by the pound. People must be disposing of the husks to avoid excess weight. Not true. The corn happens to be priced per cob.

I go to a different grocery. Same routine ensues.

Obviously I'm missing something. All comments and feedback are welcome. I'm in desperate need of understanding corn cob etiquette.

Fa La La La La

2006-06-27T00:19:00.000-05:00

Tonight in supervision class we discussed the importance of communication in an employer/employee relationship. Chef Instructor stressed the need to seek out the best way to communicate with each individual employee in your restaurant.

Among the suggestions were: written training manual, employee meetings, posters on the wall and…..singing. “Sometimes a song can get your point across,” says Chef Instructor.

I’ll be damned if I’m going to sing the recipe for macaroni and cheese.

For starters, who does that? For finishers, do people actually do that?

I Don't Do B's

2006-06-24T12:51:00.000-05:00

On Thursday night, we got our Nutrition midterms back. Upon seeing my grade, an 84, I think I made a sound similar to – EEEEK. I don’t do B’s. I do A’s. Getting a B is unacceptable.

Out comes my notes and book as I meticulously examine each question I got wrong and search for a reason that it’s not really wrong.

Me (hand raised): Um, on number 31, you said the answer is avocado, and I put olive.

Chef Instructor: Ok.

Me: Well, I’m looking at the book right now and it also says the answer is olive.

CI: Hmmmm (scratches chin). You know, I think you’re right. Ok, I’ll give you points for that.

Fellow classmates: Sweeeeeet! I missed that too.

Me (hand raised again): On 34, you said the answer was olive oil and I put palm oil.

CI: Ok.

Me: Well, I’m looking at my notes from your lecture, and I think you said palm oil.

CI: Yeah, you’re right. Ok, I’ll give you points for that one too.

FC: Allison, you rock. You just brought me up to passing.

Me (hand raised for the third time): Ok, so on 43, I put USDA Food Pyramid and you’re saying the right answer is the Latin American Food Pyramid. According to the book, neither is correct. I’m thinking this was just a badly worded question.

CI: (After rifling through the book, notes and some head scratching) I agree. It’s a badly worded question. I’ll throw the question out and give you points for that one too.

FC: You’re on fire. If you keep it up, I might actually get a B!!

CI: Allison, anything else?

Me: No, I’m done. I just lobbied my way to an A.

You’re Just a Girl

2006-06-22T23:19:00.000-05:00

So I volunteered to help out the parental unit with a promotional event for his business. Yes, I volunteered to wear a head to toe polyester gecko costume, complete with lizard head and feet in 100 degree Texas heat at a baseball game. What the hell was I thinking?

Little kids galore loved the gecko. I received more hugs in a two hour period from strangers than I have in my whole entire life, from anyone.

For those of you familiar with the gecko, HE often appears on TV commercials talking with a lovely BRITISH accent. Being fully aware of this fact, I did my best to avoid talking while in costume – I’m a girl and a horrible accent impersonator.

While doing my thing, some older thugs – maybe 15 or 16 years old, ambushed me. They were pulling my tail, beating on my head and otherwise acting foolish. Fairly immobile, I start waving my hands at the parental unit for backup. When he didn’t see my flailing arms, I started to shout for assistance in my girly, Texas voice.

Upon hearing my voice, the lizard abusers made a quick exit. But not before pointing out (with what seemed to be disappointment), “Oh…you’re just a girl.”

Yeah, I’m a girl. In a lizard costume. And next time, I’ll kick your ass.

Chicken Powder

2006-06-12T22:49:00.000-05:00

Determined to concoct a delicious vegetarian birthday meal for my friend T and her new beau, I modified this meaty recipe with the following ingredients:

Shrimp instead of Sirloin
Shrimp Ramen noodles instead of Beef Ramen noodles

I had 2 hours to whip up dinner between work and school, so I had to opt for something quick and easy. I thought I had met those requirements with this dish, but alas, I had gone horribly awry.

Thanks to T’s prompting, I checked out the ingredients of the Shrimp Ramen noodles. Among wheat, flour and salt is a glaring carnivorous ingredient – chicken powder. Vegetarians, run for cover!!

T saved me from complete and utter mortification by saying, “I ate a bit of pork at Christmas. Keep cooking and we’ll never speak of this again.”

Noodle-icious

2006-06-11T15:49:00.000-05:00

My friend S recently passed on recipe that I fear I will make way too often and then burnout on it way too soon. It’s super easy and super yummy! No cooking skills required!

Easy Asian Beef and Noodles

8 ounces Ribeye
1 teaspoon sesame oil, divided
1 cup green onions, sliced 1" thick
2 cups packaged cabbage and carrot coleslaw
2 packages beef flavored ramen noodles
1 1/2 cups water
1 tablespoon soy sauce

1. Trim fat from steak, cut diagonally across grain into thin slices. Heat 1/2 teaspoon oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add steak and green onions; stir-fry 1 minute. Remove steak mixture from skillet; keep warm. Heat remaining 1/2 teaspoon oil in skillet over medium-high heat. Ad slaw; stir-fry 20 seconds. Remove slaw from skillet; keep warm.

2. Remove noodles from packages; discard one seasoning packet. Add water and seasoning packet to skillet; bring to a boil. Break noodles in half; add noodles to water mixture. Cook noodles 2 minutes or until most of the liquid is absorbed, stirring frequently. Stir in stead mixture, slaw and soy sauce. Cook until heated through.

3. Serve with lots and lots of spicy chili sauce.

It’s Like A Comedy Routine

2006-06-01T23:06:00.000-05:00

Aaahhhh, Nutrition class. Between the chick next to me who was crocheting, the guy down the way throwing pennies across the room at the wall and the glutton eating a plate of crepes that had been sneezed on, class was very interesting.

Two new things I learned (of course, completely unrelated to the subject matter at hand):

-Spider webs stop bleeding – I have done extensive web research on this topic with no conclusive evidence. If any of you out there have real life examples of this, I’d love to hear about it. Please send video footage.

-A great website that documents all the restaurants you should map out on your next cross country trip. Makes me want to take a road trip!

Waaaay Too Much Information

2006-06-01T10:41:00.000-05:00

Now that the first lab class is over, I have two new classes – Nutrition and Supervision in the Hospitality Industry.

Nutrition is interesting. Supervision is not – unless of course we focus on my fellow classmates instead of the subject matter at hand.

Last night during a break, the glutton decided to share his weekend “sexperiences” with the entire class. Apparently he lives in a trailer. And apparently the trailer is no longer level with the ground. It is now tilting at a 45 degree angle due to his wild escapades. His version of the story - “Well I’m at about 275 and my girlfriend weighs about 325.” That explains the off kilter trailer, but it does nothing to contain the wild outbursts and chiding from my fellow classmates:

“Did you find a ham sandwich in all those rolls?”
“How about a turkey leg?”
And in true Road Trip style,
“Did you hold up her animal print underwear afterwards and proclaim to have killed a cheetah?”

And they went on and on and on. All the while, the glutton laughs and willing participates.

Unbelievable.

Screw School

2006-05-24T23:26:00.000-05:00

I have a new car to play with! That’s right, I’m the proud owner of a new 2007 Toyota Camry XLE. It’s my second Camry and fourth Toyota (see requirement number 20). And it has absolutely nothing to do with food. Unless you consider the fact that I might have to stop eating in order to make my car payments. Ha!

Tomorrow I’ll be joining a new club. My lovely friend J is the founder of this club. It’s called “Tram Parking.” This means that no matter where you go (work, school, the movies, restaurants or otherwise) you park as far away as possible from civilization to avoid door dings, inadvertent keyings and unnecessary bird poop. If you’re lucky, a tram will transport you from parking spot to ridiculously far away destination. If not, well, you’ll get a nice workout as a consolation prize.

And a New Semester Begins

2006-05-23T23:46:00.000-05:00

Semester one, 3 classes, complete. GPA = 4.0. On track to graduate summa cum laude.

Monday night began a new semester. This means six weeks of book work classes - Supervision and Nutrition, followed by a six week lab class – Meat Cookery.

Who the hell knows if I’ll have anything interesting to share. So far, all I have to say is, I don’t have to wear a hat or thermometer for the next six weeks - rock on!

I Can Cook!

2006-05-18T23:09:00.000-05:00

Tonight was the practical final. I completed all seven dishes accurately and on time.

*Drumroll please*

Not only did I survive (which was my primary goal), I finished with a grade of 98.

I am quite pleased.

“Tomorrow We Find Out if You Can Cook”

2006-05-17T23:41:00.000-05:00

With the practical final exam scheduled for Thursday night, these were the parting words of the chef instructors as we were dismissed from class tonight.

What I wanted really wanted to say was:

“Tomorrow we find out if you can teach.”

Sadly, I already know the answer.

Bastards.

Eggs Suck

2006-05-16T23:49:00.000-05:00

Tonight was egg cookery. Solo production (meaning no partner to lean on). It was the most asinine class thus far.

Tonight the following events occurred in class:
Burns
Grades of zero for failing to finish all required dishes
An emotional meltdown, complete with tears
Obsessive cursing
More burns
A melted knife (yes, they melt)

And the worst part is - I’m describing all of the things that happened to ME tonight.

How, might I ask, do eggs (yes EGGS) make a girl cry? If you can figure that out, please let me know. I have 2 days to get my shit together before I have to make eggs for my final.

And, I might need to let the FBI know that my fingerprints have been modified by fire.

In the Home Stretch

2006-05-14T10:17:00.000-05:00

5 more days of THIS class to go. Fanfuckingtabulous.

3 of those days will be breakfast cookery – eggs, pancakes, soufflés, cheese blintzes, etc.

1 day will be a written exam.

1 day will be a practical exam. Now this, this scares the bajeebus out of me. Friday night the chef instructors gave us the exam rules and a list of dishes that we will be required to prepare - from memory.

A synopsis of the rules: Work alone, don’t talk, don’t ask questions, turn in your food on time.

And now, on to the food. We will be required to make:

Consommé Brunoise
Creamy Polenta with Tomato Sauce
Sautéed Spinach
Blanched Asparagus with Hollandaise
Rissole Potatoes
2 Eggs Over Easy
2 Eggs Soft Boiled

Saturday I spent the majority of the day shopping for the ingredients needed to make these dishes, and then actually making them. I am now the master of Hollandaise, Consommé and Sautéed Spinach. I even made a nice clarified butter. And captured some of the results on film…

Blanched Asparagus with Hollandaise

The disgusting mixture, called clearmeat, used to make Consommé

Consommé with Brunoise Carrots (this came from that disgusting mixture)

Sautéed Spinach

Today I will attempt (again) to tournea potatoes, whip up some polenta and make a classic, French tomato sauce. Pictures to come...

Fried Rice

2006-05-11T23:09:00.000-05:00

Not the kind they serve up in Chinese restaurants. This is actual balls of fried rice – otherwise known as croquettes. Tonight I made a lovely risotto finished with cream and parmesan cheese. I let it chill in the fridge and then formed the mixture into bite size balls, coated them in breadcrumbs and then dropped ‘em in the deep fryer. I cooked them until GBD (golden, brown and delicious - yes, it's a technical cooking term) for a perfect grade. Risotto – yum. Fried food – yum. Fried risotto – hells yeah.

Beans, Beans

2006-05-11T00:15:00.000-05:00

The magical fruit
The more you eat
The more you.....

Wow. The Chef Instructor actually sang this little ditty to us during lecture tonight. Rather than explain why beans cause flatulence, we are learning nursery rhymes. Maybe tomorrow we will learn how to make a diorama.

No Spatulas Allowed

2006-05-10T00:05:00.000-05:00

Tonight, as we continued potato cookery, we also took our first stab at flipping food in a sauté pan without the use of utensils.

I put together a lovely “potato pancake” which ultimately looked and tasted as good as the ones served up at IHOP. Yes, I eat at IHOP. And yes, I love their hash browns.

As the potatoes sizzled in some clarified butter, I finally got up the courage to try the oh so professional flipping technique. Over the burner, I quickly force the sauté pan forward and jerk it back towards my body. The potato pancake catches some air, flies out of the pan and heads directly towards my face. Acrobatics kick in and with a few jumps and some swift pan maneuvering, I landed the potato pancake in the pan. It wasn’t a perfect 10, but it didn’t hit the floor – or my face. Whew!

Potatoes Au Crap

2006-05-09T02:09:00.000-05:00

Tonight we began a 3 day spree of potato making. We made 5 different potato dishes – 4 of which were met with the following comments when presented for grading:

- What the hell is this?
- What kind of fucked up piping job is this?
- Kind of thin, isn’t it? (along with rude face and the “what were you thinking” look)
- This is sauce?

The only potato dish I made tonight that remotely received an acceptable grade was the one doused in cream and topped with cheese. But then again, what wouldn’t taste good doused in cream and topped with cheese?

The Glutton Defines Gluttony

2006-05-04T00:44:00.000-05:00

There is this guy in my class that frequently:

-Is the first to dig in to the chef instructors’ demo food (sometimes even bowling others over to make sure this happens)
-Licks a plate, bowl, ramekin, and sometimes even a table, clean
-Secretly packs up leftovers for home use
-Double dips
-Manhandles food so that others won’t take it from him
-Barters with other cooking classes for their nightly creations

Tonight we made lasagna. A big portion of lasagna. The chef instructors’ were only grading the lasagna on form and consistency, which meant we got to eat the finished product – a rare event. This guy – he devours the lasagna before his teammates can even sample it. They are giving him a hard time. He is going on and on about how he wants to eat more, but is finally full. The whole class is surprised at this admission. It’s a first.

A classmate jokingly suggests that he could make himself throw up so that he could continue to eat more lasagna.

He said, “I would, but that would mean I’m a glutton.”

“Poot”anesca

2006-05-02T23:29:00.000-05:00

Tonight we made fresh pasta. For those of you who have never had fresh pasta, you aren’t missing much – except being coated in flour for 5 grueling hours. Please, don’t try to convince me otherwise. My feet are aching, I have dough in places I’d rather not think about and I saw one of my fellow classmates smuggle a ball of pasta dough out of class in his pants.

Besides making fettuccini, papardelle, farfalle and tortellini, we made an assortment of sauces to go with the pasta. One being – Putanesca. I’ve heard it referred to in movies and shows – “I’d love to enjoy that bottle of wine with a nice Putanesca.” Sounds so extravagant. After learning about, and subsequently making Putanesca, I will not be enjoying it with a damn thing – not wine, not milk, not even smothered in cheese.

Made with a mixture of tomatoes (blehk, gross, eeew, yuck), capers, calamata olives and anchovy filets, it’s actually referred to as the “hooker’s dish.” In Italy of years ago, it was something easy for working girls to whip up this dish between…ahem, appointments. It became such a common dish amongst these women that the smell of it cooking became associated with the dirty deed.

Tasty, huh?

Hot Damn, It's a Parsnip

2006-04-26T23:08:00.000-05:00

Parsnips and celery root – my first experience with both. And surprisingly, a positive one at that! I made a beautiful vegetable strudel out of them this evening. A couple of layers of phyllo dough wrapped around this delicious vegetable concoction turned out to be quite a professional looking dish. It reminded me why I’m going into debt for this school. Although I didn’t get a perfect score on my strudel, it looked and tasted good enough to serve to my fam and friends. Watch out folks – I’m cooking parsnips…and you’re gonna have to eat them!

Mmmmm, Corn

2006-04-26T10:19:00.000-05:00

Last night we began vegetable cookery, and we kicked it all off with the most delicious corn I have ever eaten. If you are a fan of corn, you’ve got to try this:

Sweat some mined shallots and garlic in a little butter until no longer crunchy
Remove from heat and let this mixture cool
Chop up some fresh parsley and tarragon
Build a compound butter by mixing together butter, cooled shallots and garlic and herbs
Meanwhile, cook fresh ears of corn in boiling, salted water
Once cooked, remove from water and cut kernels off of the cob
Stir in some of the compound butter until melted and serve

This dish will definitely be added to my Thanksgiving menu. Not necessarily good for you, but oh so gooooood!

Stock + Rice = Bisque

2006-04-23T21:57:00.000-05:00

Friday night's class introduced us to the method of making bisque. The classic, French method requires the following two ingredients:

Seafood, most commonly, crustaceans
Cooked rice

Without these two ingredients, it just ain't a bisque. You create the base of the bisque with a stock made from the shells of the crustacean du jour. Once the stock is created, you blend it with cooked rice. The starchiness of the rice serves to thicken the seafood stock. Finish it off with a touch a cream, a nice garnish, and the bisque is served.

All Things NOT French

2006-04-20T10:39:00.000-05:00

No stock, no cream soup, no consommé, no fancy garnishes, just good old comfort food. For breakfast, I whipped up some fresh hashbrowns, sautéed some onions, and scrambled in a couple of eggs.

Top it off with a little Tabasco and garnish with cheese. Now that’s what I call fine dining.

Professional Comparison

2006-04-19T22:52:00.000-05:00

On a daily basis, my chef instructors (one of who I’m certain was a drill instructor in a previous life) stress the importance of professionalism in the school environment. Having worked in a couple of professional environments myself, not to mention graduating from a well respected university, I think I have a decent feel for professional. That being said, let’s do a little analysis:

Chef Instructors say professionalism is:
-Short, short nails: get humiliated by having to cut your nails to the quick in front of the entire class
-Line Up: stand in front of your stove and undergo a white glove inspection to evaluate your cleaning skills
-Screaming: get screamed at for anything and everything, including going to the restroom without permission
-Questions: have a damn good reason for asking a question or risk snide looks and blatant disregard
-Name Calling: get used to being called a dumbass

I have experienced professionalism as:
-Respectful
-Tolerant of questions, learning and growth
-Teamwork
-Praise for a job well done
-Pointers on how to avoid future failures

As week two of this course is nearing a close, I have failed at my main goal – to not let this environment prevent me from learning and enjoying this experience. Instead, I’m starting to think being a chef is more like Hell’s Kitchen than Paula Deen’s breakfast table. Complete bummer.

Hollandaze

2006-04-17T23:00:00.000-05:00

Day 6 was all about Hollandaise. Last week we worked with a partner on a couple of days. Mine was nice enough, but didn't really like to share the spoon or stovetop. I didn’t feel like I was getting enough hands on experience, so I was looking forward to a new partner this week. Today turned out well. While I am very serious about getting everything out of class, I also like to have fun. Luckily, my new partner does too.

Hollandaise and five of its derivatives that we made today are extremely labor intensive. It’s basically a mixture of egg yolks and clarified butter that has to be continuously whisked to create an emulsion. In our thirty minutes of whisking, we managed to light a towel on fire and catch an uncontrollable case of the giggles. Our scores weren’t perfect, but a day of making extremely difficult sauces was lightened by laughter.

Tomorrow we start making soups. After days of stocks and sauces, we are all looking forward to making dishes that people actually eat.

Brown Sauce and Human Flesh

2006-04-14T00:28:00.000-05:00

Tonight we made brown sauces. The high point was making a Bordelaise sauce with poached bone marrow. I’d never seen bone marrow before, much less chopped it up and added it to a sauce. Very interesting, but psychologically I couldn’t get past the mental thought of eating goop sucked out of cow bones.

The um-okay moment came when Chef Instructor, while making Sauce Robert , told a little anecdote about the sauce. Apparently, when pouring Sauce Robert over meat it takes on the flavor of human flesh. Now who the hell would actually know this?

My “um-okay” turned into a curious desire to find out more. After a few Google searches, it turns out there is something behind all of this. Apparently the Sleeping Beauty fairytale (the part not show in the G-rate movie version) indicates that her mother-in-law despised her and hired a hit man to kill her so she could feast on her flesh. The hit man falls in love with Sleeping Beauty and decides he can’t kill her. Instead, he kills a lamb, covers it in Sauce Robert, and viola, mother-in-law thinks she’s chowing down on Sleeping Beauty.

Maybe if Dahmer knew how to make Sauce Robert, a few lives could have been saved.

Béchamel – Mother Sauce Numero Uno

2006-04-12T23:53:00.000-05:00

According to Chef Instructor, tonight was our first “real” day of class. I guess that was because we were doing something more than chopping carrots and watching stock water boil. Our assignment was to create one of the five French “mother sauces”- Béchamel. Out of that mother sauce we were required to produce four “daughter” sauces – Crème, Nantua, Mornay, and Soubise. Besides learning how to make a shrimp paste and sweat onions, my shining moment of the night came when I was the only one in the class to receive a perfect score on a sauce. Now that’s worth cutting a finger for!

Let’s Get to Slicing and Dicing – Fingers and Food

2006-04-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

Today was day one in the kitchen, or “lab” as they call it at school. This 5 hour class started out with a LOOONG introduction of the chef instructors’ expectations regarding attendance, dress code, cleaning, etc. Usual first day stuff. I was a little caught off guard because the whole introduction was intended to stress the need for us to dress and conduct ourselves in a professional manner. That I get. What I didn’t get was why the chef instructors were laying out these expectations with the abundant use of expletives. Not that I’m offended by such words (they are essential to my vocabulary), but I don’t usually associate them with professionalism.

Following the intro was an hour long demo on how to chop, dice, mince, julienne, tourne, chiffonade and perform various other knife cuts. After the demo, we were turned loose with an onion and potato, 2 shallots, 3 carrots, 4 mushrooms and our shiny, new knives. We had 2 hours to churn out 10 uniquely cut veggie products. You start the night out with a grade of 20. Points are deducted if your station is messy, if your plate presentation is poor and most importantly, if your knife cuts are inaccurate. And by inaccurate I mean, when the chef instructors bust out the ruler (oh yes they did) and measure your cuts, wrong is wrong. There went my points….

I’m a perfectionist. I will spend hours medium dicing a carrot if I have to, just to get it right. But 2 hours is all I had. As I went to present my plate for grading, I was embarrassed, disappointed and ultimately defeated. My cubed carrots looked more like rectangles, my 7 sided potato only had 6 sides, and my fluted mushroom…oh, I can’t even go there.

I’d like to say that I survived my first day in the lab unscathed. I’d be lying if I did. I was the second (of three) to slice open a finger. Top of my left thumb knuckle – almost to the bone. I started sweating heavily and nearly passed out. After the bleeding finally stopped, chef instructor 1 checked it out….”You may need stitches, but probably not.” I made a decision – NOT.

As I sit here with my bandaged up thumb and a hot cup of tea, I am starting to wonder…if the first day went this bad, what does that mean? That the worst is over or the fun is just beginning?

Lemon Cream Sauce Revisited

2006-04-04T17:51:00.000-05:00

Last night I whipped up a quick pasta dish using the aforementioned lemon cream sauce. After adding the juice of a couple lemons to the pan and allowing it to evaporate, I dumped in a couple of cloves of chopped garlic with some olive oil and sautéed for a couple of minutes. Then I added heavy cream and brought it up to simmer. Right before serving, I tossed in a handful of fresh, chopped dill. It was delicious poured over penne pasta! It was supposed to have grilled chicken too, but that didn't quite work out. Maybe next time.

Evil Thoughts

2006-04-02T01:12:00.000-06:00

My dear friends R and M sent me a lovely collection of postcards as a cheer me up gift. I have yet to personally thank them for the laughter the postcards inflicted and the warmth their friendship continues to instill upon my life.

With phrases like, "Sorry I painted the word 'Twat' on your garage door," I don't know how you couldn't laugh. And I'm sure all of you know at least one person you'd like to send this postcard to! If not, you are kidding yourself, or...you don't work in corporate America.

Check out David Shrigley's work and maybe you'll find a postcard to send to the one you love (or hate).

R and M - I miss you both and thank you for thinking of me.

Lemon Cream...

2006-04-02T01:07:00.000-06:00

Sauce.

So, on Friday, we were studying seasonings and flavorings. Chef Instructor suggested heating a sauté pan over medium heat and adding the juice of a lemon and waiting until it completely evaporates. Once evaporated, pour in heavy cream. Ultimately you will get a cream sauce infused with leftover lemon oil absorbed by the sauté pan. Sounds delicious, no? C.I. suggested serving over a nice white fish such as Sole or Tilapia. I hate fish, so how about I serve it over a nice hunk of mozzarella cheese instead?

Finally!

2006-03-28T15:58:00.000-06:00

I finally got my chef uniforms and toolkit today, and I begin my first lab class the week after next. I can't wait to finally get in the kitchen!! I'm so proud of the obscene amount of money that I just spent of this stuff, I had to take pictures. I'm even sitting in my uniform right now. I probably need professional counseling or something.

Stink

2006-03-24T00:42:00.000-06:00

My current culinary class is Culinary Arts 100. Introduction to culinary history, cooking methods, knife cuts, and farting. Yes, farting. The guy sitting next to me – let’s call him Daryl (because that’s his name) – is constantly passing the time by farting. Not silent but deadly farting, but all out audible freight train farting. It’s ok though because he always says, “Excuse me” after each noxious fart. I’m going to have to start bringing a gas mask (and earplugs) to class.

All Things Green

2006-03-19T14:48:00.000-06:00

St. Patrick's Day at Sherlock's.

100 Things About Me: 41 - 60

2006-03-16T22:41:00.000-06:00

41. I worry all the time.
42. About everything.
43. I don’t mind public speaking. I’ve even been told that I’m good at it.
44. I have an unhealthy addiction for celebrity gossip.
45. I can’t live a day without my iPod.
46. I’m scared to fly, and even though I do it somewhat frequently, it requires sedatives.
47. Growing up, I was a total tomboy.
48. I have the scars to prove it.
49. Someone once convinced me to drink a Tequila Sunrise by telling me there was no tequila in it.
50. I hate tequila. One night of tequila shots gone awry….
51. I’ve had food poisoning 3 times. All three, I thought I was going to die.
52. I’ve been attacked by a dog – twice.
53. People used to mistake me and my sister for twins. We are eight years apart.
54. My favorite wines are Pinot Grigio and Reisling.
55. I was in the colorguard in high school.
56. I was also on the school newspaper staff.
57. I don’t brag about either.
58. I’m a reality show junkie.
59. Rarely does a day go by that I don’t watch Oprah.
60. In the past two years I’ve been to Mexico, London, India, Japan and Rome. Japan was my favorite.

Green Goddess

2006-03-14T22:46:00.000-06:00

Tonight I tested out a recipe on my friend T. Pasta with a Green Goddess Sauce. Sounds divine, no? Well, not so much. Here's the process.

1) Roast Shallots in oven and make house smell delicious.

2) Make sauce and stink up the place (must be the tofu)

3) Eat and critique (too much tang)

4) Pack up the leftovers and pawn them off on unsuspecting moms.

I wouldn't recommend the recipe, but for any that are curious, let me know.

One Bag

2006-03-14T13:52:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I made a quick trip to the grocery to pick up a few items to make Beef Stroganoff. I filled my basket with some sour cream, a lemon, a few fresh herbs and a package of pasta. I jumped into the “6 items or less” Express Lane and paid for my purchase while the cashier tossed all of my food into one bag. As I signed the credit card receipt, she asked me if I needed help carrying out my bag. I’m sure it’s a standard courtesy, but it left me thinking: 1) Do I look so out of shape that I wouldn’t be able to make it to my car with my ONE bag without help? or 2) Are people actually so lazy that they request assistance in carrying their ONE bag to their car? I choose option 2. I’m still in denial that working out every now and then might do me good.

Flavor

2006-03-12T23:22:00.000-06:00

Since this is a culinary school blog, you might be expecting a post about food - food that's full of FLAVOR. On the contrary. Tonight, a friend of mine persuaded me (with a deep dish, whole wheat vegetarian pizza) to watch the season finale of The Flavor of Love. With names like Cherry, Peaches, Pumkin and Red Oyster, one could only hope the lady contestants had more too offer than hooch, bling and a lot of tattooed (and sometimes droopy) skin. Having never seen the show until tonight, a quick recap told me everything I needed to know. Flava is looking for a "baby girl" and the women on the show are looking for a 40 something man dressed in a cheetah print robe with enough bling to set off every airport security system in America. It came down to the final two baby girls - New York and Hoopz. *Spoiler* (if you actually care) Flava tells New York that she's outta there because he's "going to roll with Hoopz." The most romantic moment comes with Flava ask Hoopz to be "his baby" and presents her with a set of gold tooth caps. So much for diamonds ladies. This is the new engagement gift of the millennium.

Vodka Pasta

2006-03-07T23:13:00.000-06:00

So...a friend of mine who knows how much I LOVE Vodka, sent me a recipe that Rachael Ray recently featured on Oprah. Without hesitation, I gathered up the ingredients (rest assured that Vodka was already on hand) and began peparation for what I thought would be a FABULOUS dinner. I even added SHRIMP!! Blessed be my friend who is open to trying almost anything (barring olives), who shoveled in a few spoonfuls before finally announcing that the dish is just shit. Well hell, I tried. And I never thought that anything with Vodka could fail me. Damn Rachael Ray.

Scallops, or is it Stingray?

2006-02-28T21:28:00.000-06:00

Today I learned that often times some food suppliers pass off stingray meat for scallops. One way to know if you are getting what you pay for is to look at the grain. A true scallop will have a vertical grain and a substitute will have a horizontal grain. Something to think about next time you slice into this delicious shellfish.

Cyanide Tea, Anyone?

2006-02-28T13:23:00.000-06:00

Peach leaves contain cyanide. Apparently the incidence of death, mostly in southern states where peaches are grown, is highest among young children who crush up the leaves and make hot tea to serve at their tea parties. Upon looking into this further, it turns out that all parts of the peach are poisonious, some more than others. I had no idea, but I don't think that will keep me from eating peach cobbler anytime soon.

100 Things About Me: 21 - 40

2006-02-24T23:47:00.000-06:00

21. I love to take pictures, especially black and white architecture shots
22. I can touch my nose with my tongue
23. I met Ben MacKenzie from The O.C. at a UT football game. He is a cutie!
24. I hate to sweat, therefore, I almost never workout
25. I'll eat almost anything, except watermelon, cucumbers and tomatoes
26. I've had braces 3 times and my teeth are still a bit crooked
27. I've had many concussions in my life - all accidents and none from playing sports
28. I've only broken one bone - my collar bone, when I was 5, from falling off the bed
29. I've never had stitches even though I've needed them on several occasions
30. I love roller coasters
31. My big toenail on my left foot has fallen off 3 times
32. I'm the biggest klutz ever - I constantly fall down stairs and trip over nothing
33. I make a fabulous Sangria
34. There's nothing more I'd like to do than live a day in the life of Sex in the City
35. I've eaten at almost all of Emeril's restaurants
36. Las Vegas and New Orleans are my favorite weekend getaways
37. I'm not a huge coffee drinker, but I love a cup of hot tea
38. I love to swim - it must be the Pieces in me
39. I’m a chronic nail biter
40. I LOVE pedicures and get them year round

100 Things About Me: 1 - 20

2006-02-23T22:37:00.000-06:00

1. I have 2 tattoos – one visible, one not
2. I have a closed up hole in my tongue, once occupied by a tongue ring
3. Chips and queso (cheese) is my FAVORITE food
4. Vodka and diet coke (with a lime, when available) is my favorite drink
5. Purple is my absolute favorite color, and birthstone
6. I belonged to a sorority in college
7. I can speak Spanish (or so I’d like to think)
8. I love to travel
9. Before I die, I’d like to take a picture of me in front of every US State Capitol
10. As a child, I sang in a group called the Peppermint Factory. I’m pretty sure I sucked at it.
11. I can play the piano, although not as well as I would like.
12. I tried learning the guitar, but didn’t get very far.
13. Collin Farrell was the guest star on David Letterman when I sat in the second row at the Late Show
14. I love UT Football – National Champions 2005!
15. I was born in Spring, Texas, just outside of Houston
16. I grew up in Austin – thank goodness
17. I already have a college degree, but really want to be a chef
18. I only recently found a passion for reading
19. I love all music, except for heavy metal
20. I only drive Toyotas or Hondas

Albino Roaches and Fish Sticks

2006-02-23T16:00:00.000-06:00

Sanitation 101 is the first course of my year long culinary education. Day 3 of Sanitation class begins with Chef K's daily anecdote - albino roaches. When Chef K ran a restaurant down in Miami, his co-worker discovered a weird phenomenon lurking behind some cooking equipment. They gathered up these white roaches in a box and headed to the bakery next door. With some friendly jesting, Chef K bet the bakery owner 50 bucks that he had roaches in his establishment. The baker vehemently denied this accusation and gladly put 50 dollars on the counter. Chef K opened the box to reveal the "albino" roaches. Feeling defeated, the bakery owner went to his supply room and immediately discovered an open bag of flour that had become a nice home for a bunch of hungry roaches. Chef K returned to his restaurant 50 bucks richer with a box full of flour dusted roaches.

I bet you're hoping that these roaches weren't served alongside fish sticks. They weren't - at least not that I know of. However, you might like to know that those fish sticks you love to eat with a big glob of ketchup and a hearty helping of gooey mac-n-cheese aren't the highest quality, freshest hunk of seafood out there. Generally fish stick makers buy the main ingredient from fisherman who have been at sea for five days and are eager to get rid of the fish at the bottom of the barrel that were caught on day 1.

Happy eating!

100 Things About Me

2006-02-01T17:13:00.000-06:00

1. I have 2 tattoos – one visible, one not
2. I have a closed up hole in my tongue, once occupied by a tongue ring
3. Chips and queso (cheese) is my FAVORITE food
4. Vodka and diet coke (with a lime, when available) is my favorite drink
5. Purple is my absolute favorite color, and birthstone
6. I belonged to a sorority in college
7. I can speak Spanish (or so I’d like to think)
8. I love to travel
9. Before I die, I’d like to take a picture of me in front of every US State Capitol
10. As a child, I sang in a group called the Peppermint Factory. I’m pretty sure I sucked at it.
11. I can play the piano, although not as well as I would like.
12. I tried learning the guitar, but didn’t get very far.
13. Collin Farrell was the guest star on David Letterman when I sat in the second row at the Late Show
14. I love UT Football – National Champions 2005!
15. I was born in Spring, Texas, just outside of Houston
16. I grew up in Austin – thank goodness
17. I already have a college degree, but really want to be a chef
18. I only recently found a passion for reading
19. I love all music, except for heavy metal
20. I only drive Toyotas or Hondas
21. I love to take pictures, especially black and white architecture shots
22. I can touch my nose with my tongue
23. I met Ben MacKenzie from The O.C. at a UT football game. He is a cutie!
24. I hate to sweat, therefore, I almost never workout
25. I'll eat almost anything, except watermelon, cucumbers and tomatoes
26. I've had braces 3 times and my teeth are still a bit crooked
27. I've had many concussions in my life - all accidents and none from playing sports
28. I've only broken one bone - my collar bone, when I was 5, from falling off the bed
29. I've never had stitches even though I've needed them on several occasions
30. I love roller coasters
31. My big toenail on my left foot has fallen off 3 times
32. I'm the biggest klutz ever - I constantly fall down stairs and trip over nothing
33. I make a fabulous Sangria
34. There's nothing more I'd like to do than live a day in the life of Sex in the City
35. I've eaten at almost all of Emeril's restaurants
36. Las Vegas and New Orleans are my favorite weekend getaways
37. I'm not a huge coffee drinker, but I love a cup of hot tea
38. I love to swim - it must be the Pieces in me
39. I’m a chronic nail biter
40. I LOVE pedicures and get them year round
41. I worry all the time.
42. About everything.
43. I don’t mind public speaking. I’ve even been told that I’m good at it.
44. I have an unhealthy addiction for celebrity gossip.
45. I can’t live a day without my iPod.
46. I’m scared to fly, and even though I do it somewhat frequently, it requires sedatives.
47. Growing up, I was a total tomboy.
48. I have the scars to prove it.
49. Someone once convinced me to drink a Tequila Sunrise by telling me there was no tequila in it.
50. I hate tequila. One night of tequila shots gone awry….
51. I’ve had food poisoning 3 times. All three, I thought I was going to die.
52. I’ve been attacked by a dog – twice.
53. People used to mistake me and my sister for twins. We are eight years apart.
54. My favorite wines are Pinot Grigio and Reisling.
55. I was in the colorguard in high school.
56. I was also on the school newspaper staff.
57. I don’t brag about either.
58. I’m a reality show junkie.
59. Rarely does a day go by that I don’t watch Oprah.
60. In the past two years I’ve been to Mexico, London, India, Japan and Rome. Japan was my favorite.
61. You can never use too much garlic. I put it in almost everything, except brownies.
62. In school, most people think I’m a nerd. I’m never afraid to lobby for a better grade.
63. I am addicted to DVR. It is the best invention ever.
64. I have an anti-green thumb. I can’t keep a plant alive to save my life.
65. In elementary school, I wore Jams and leggings and hair bows. Oh my.
66. When I was younger, I used to make crafts for all of my Christmas gifts. I wish I still had the time to do that.
67. One of my favorite songs is “I Love Rock ‘n Roll” by Joan Jett. I used to have it on a 45. Every time it comes on the radio, I’m instantly in a good mood.
68. I dig power tools. Especially my electric screwdriver.
69. I dig other power tools too. But mostly, this is a G-rated blog.
70. I know how to fold napkins into fancy shapes, like swans. My grandmother gave me a napkin folding book when I was young, and I actually used it.
71. Whenever I watch scary movies, I close my eyes and plug my ears during the jump-out-and-scare-you parts.
72. I used to be a HUGE Tom Cruise fan. After his Oprah couch jumping incident, he has been erased from existence.
73. I can’t stand Gatorade. It burns the back of my throat.
74. I love to eat whipped cream – straight out of the can.
75. I like fancy restaurants with froufrou food.
76. I’ve only been in a limo twice. Once for my best friend’s 16th birthday and then again on my wedding night.
77. I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue – quickly.
78. I love to eat raw cookie dough.
79. I hate to vacuum.
80. I’ve visited cities in 13 US states.
81. I own a hundred pairs of shoes, but mostly I wear the same pair of black flip flops, day after day, after day.
82. I love cold weather. If Austin wasn't the most awesome city in the world, I would have moved to Antarctica by now.
83. I rarely eat ice cream, but when I do, I do it up right with all the fixin's.
84. I have subscriptions to 4 food magazines and I usually read them cover to cover twice.
85. I have a few grey hairs, and I'm not afraid to pull them out or cover them up with hair dye.
86. I'm addicted to chapstick. I have a tube beside my bed, on the coffee table, in my purse, in my car, in my desk drawer, and the list goes on.
87. I also love gum. I almost always have a piece of it in my mouth.
88. I have a tiny family. My dad is an only child and my mom has one brother. I only have 4 cousins. Gossip travels fast!
89. My grandfather emigrated from Holland, so I have some second generation European roots.
90. I am directionally challenged. I get lost easily and people constantly tell me to get in my map.
91. I think I snore.
92. I'm scared of the dark so I always sleep with a night light.
93. I always have to sleep on the side of the bed farthest away from the door. You know, in case burglars or rapists come in during the night.
94. I laugh easily.
95. I can touch the insides of my elbows together. Apparently that means I'm double jointed.
96. I was forced to watch Rent on Broadway and then fell in love with everything about it.
97. I like to karaoke, but I generally make an ass of myself while singing.
98. I like to bet on horse races.
99. I recently had a Big Mac for the first time in my life.
100. I'm finally done with this list!